Lockdown has shown the true colors of the human psyche. It has brought out both the Best and the Worst in people. On one hand, people are upgrading their skills online workshops or trying to evolve new modes of business online trying to match up with new practices in the current scenario. On the other hand, we see “working” women struggling to strike balance in work and personal front, juggling between the unending loop of professional work and Housework without any domestic help and even from the other halves!
It has been repeatedly mentioned over and over that gender equality only comes when children are inculcated with those set of values, that both boys and girls must do all chores.
Today, the majority of well-educated males do agree that women are as talented as them, but in reality how many of them help their wives in their own homes? If they do the dishes one time they think they have done their bit and it must be appreciated as if they have done something which must be kept in the hall of fame! And, if by chance, it gets to the ears of their mother or mother-in-law then no less of TV saga ensues. Only Aarti and garlanding is left when they get to know that the man of the house is helping at home.
This write up comes after endless stories of my friends who have suffered during this time period.
Saga1: An IT professional doing great professionally had to resign from a decent designation and well-paid job. The reason being who will do the chores, serve hot food to in-laws, and how the child will log on to online classes. And the absence of household help took a toll over her physical and emotional well being. Without thinking about the option of sabbatical, she directly resigned and got backing from the family that comes first. Resignation day was celebrated with a sweet being prepared by her mother-in-law, saying this is the REAL homecoming for their daughter-in-law. Mind you, this is the same person who used to gush over how well her daughter-in-law is doing professionally that she had gifted her with diamond earrings on her first Diwali after the wedding.
Saga2: A COVID warrior couple working full time – what husband does is zilch in comparison to the wife who has to clean, do the dishes along with cooking according to the fancy of the rest of the family members! She is eternally exhausted and finds it hard to go on but no one in the so-called family looks after her. And at the end of the day after doing everything she also gets to hear dialogues like you don’t understand anything! Outside the house, she is no less than God to the women who deliver their babies but at home, her value is lesser than a doormat.
The above examples are the depiction of the dark side of the so-called well educated middle-class families. In public, they are happy to show off their pride for their daughters and daughters-in-law who are doing great in their respective careers but behind the closed doors, they expect the same women to toil like they did years back for their in-laws in the name of sanskar and heritage. Even Indra Nooyi admitted of feeling guilty of not giving enough time family, but I have not seen any Male CEOs/directors across the globe making similar statements!
Countless talented and highly educated girls are now so-called “Happy Homemakers” and irony is even their own parents support this attitude due to societal pressures.
Unfortunately, most of people think gender equality is the female fight but in fact, it is the fight of entire humanity!
Bitter truth is that it is rooted so deep in upbringing and even daily life.
A massive attitudinal shift is required to change it altogether but the positive sign is that the shift has definitely started even if it is slow, with a glimmer of hope is seen as mothers are bringing up their sons who equally contribute to household chores as daughters.
In hope that this shift happens soon with fathers leading by example and helping their wives, otherwise, the history shall go on repeating with more women leaving the workforce….